How Do You Know That A Man Is No Longer Interested In You?
One of Our Readers sent in This Question and this is What she had to say:
I don't know if this is happening to you, but my husband shows me a lack of interest lately by not being intimate with me. He doesn't tell me he loves me as much. He looks up porn all day on the net. He doesn't hug me or kiss me. He rarely talks to me, Even after hes gone for 12 hours a day for work. He spends all his time on the computer and sleeping. If you're not married or living together, he might not call you as much or at all, or skip out on seeing you. He seems as if he is pushing you away. He might ignore the things you have to say or just talk about himself. He might make up excuse after excuse why he cant do this or that. He might talk about other women in front of you or just be a idiot for no reason at all, even if you are being so nice. Its sometimes hard to read them all, but some are obvious. He could just be stressed out from work or just having problems. Or be having an Affair.
So how can you tell when a man is no longer Interested? These are a few Tell tale signs that the man wants out.
Written By: Karen ...
1. A noticeable change in his behavior towards you. For the most part, guys are creatures of habit and only change their patterns when they are up to something new. Does his attitude towards you seem a tad distant? Does he not make direct eye contact when talking to you anymore? When he comes over to your place, does he walk up to you and give you a hug or does he flop his fat ass down on the couch to watch some t.v.?
Guys, same thing: When she walks in your front door does she smile and give you a great big hug or does she casually stroll on in and immediately start talking about her day? (which leads us to the second sign)
2. Me, Me, Me. Whenever someone wants to cease interpersonal communication with another person (aside from not talking to them), they generally more and more start to focus conversations on themselves. This is so that they don’t have to make a concerted effort to maintain that interpersonal relationship with you. In other words, they are mentally checked out. How to tell if someone is mentally checked out of a relationship? There is no easy answer for this one. People are different. Sometimes he will use the word “I” instead of “we” when talking about the two of you. Over time this can be a big indicator that he is no longer interested in you. Look for a pattern in his behavior that might suggest something is amiss. I would advise you to be careful on this one though…..Psychologists have told us that when you like someone, you tend to sometimes subconsciously emulate different things about them. So after a few weeks of noticing your boyfriend only talking about himself, you will find yourself having to consciously steer the conversation away from him and back towards you. This in and of itself can cause an issue.
3. “I don’t like the way that dress looks on you”. What guy in his right mind would tell a girl he just started to date that she needed to lose a few pounds? None that I know of. When you are out shopping with him….has he suggested out of the blue that you buy or wear a dress or shirt that you normally wouldn’t wear? Or, does he suddenly not show an interest in how you look? This can be a huge sign that he is no longer interested in you.
4. Gotta go, gotta go !! In this day and age, most people are busier than they were 10-20 years ago. Cell phones, email, internet etc have opened up a whole new realm of communication and have in many ways made our lives easier, but at the same time these innovations have allowed us to sometimes take on more than we can handle. This is not an excuse for him to break date plans with you because “he is too busy”. Staying late after work? Suddenly he is hanging out with his friends more than he did when you first started dating? That “thing” that he had to do early Saturday morning that wound up taking him all day? These all can be construed as ways for him to try to start separating himself from the relationship. Again, just because he stayed out late one night and forgot to call you doesn’t necessarily mean he wants out of the relationship.
5. James Bond. Do you ever wonder if your boyfriend works for the CIA? Phone calls that he doesn’t answer while you are in the car together….immediately hiding his emails or whatever he is doing on the computer when you walk by…..acting “shy” around that perky 18 year old girl who works at the Starbucks counter?
6. Blitzkrieg !! Fighting is sometimes an inevitable counterpart of a relationship. But when you start to notice that the fights are getting more and more frequent, or are about trivial matters, this might be a sign he is on his way out. No one likes to fight, unless they want something out of it.
7. He went from “cock-strong, a-block-long” to a “2 minute man” overnight. I don’t know about you guys….but when I first get into a serious committed relationship, the sex is just fantastic. Over time, it does get to be a routine thing and there are sometimes when either partner is just not up to it. But when you start noticing him not doing the little things in bed that he used to do when you first started dating, this might be a good sign he is over it.
8. Silence is golden, let us be rich. Has the conversation ceased to be meaningful and interesting? Are you starting to notice him only talking when it is required by conversation etiquette? Did he used to tell you funny anecdotes and make witty comments, now only to throw out a half-assed reply when it is dictated? You can test this theory by asking him one or two questions that you know that would have made for a great conversation early on in the relationship.
9. No future talk. Is there any talk about your future together? Has he made any plans for you to go out on a vacation or holiday somewhere lately? Try making plans with him for a future event and watch closely his reaction. Does he willingly agree to go with you, or do you get a “We’ll….let’s play it by ear” type of response?
10. “I need some alone time” This is so painfully obvious that I am really hesitant to list it here, but I have noticed over the years that a few of my friends have been so blinded by their love/infatuation with another person, that they cannot get a hint even if he hired a Barbershop Quartet to knock on your front door and sing in unison:
“It’s over, over, overrrr !!!”.
There you have it. 10 signs your boyfriend (or girlfriend) is about to break up with you. Again, I cannot stress how important it is that you keep an open mind and look at these so called “signs” objectively. People are different and as such I cannot give you specific advice unless I know you and your boyfriend/girlfriend.
Are you ready for the ultimate sign he is about to break up with you?
11. You have the idea stuck in your head that he is about to break up with you Ever hear the old saying: You are what you think? If on a daily basis, you constantly think negative thoughts, chances are negative things will happen to you. If on the other hand you think good and happy thoughts, chances are these things will come. The logic behind this reasoning is simple human psychology. You are what you think. If you think you are a rockstar, eventually you will start to act like a rockstar in real life. The same goes for being paranoid that a guy is about to break up with you. Unless you have hard empirical evidence that supports this theory, you are only setting yourself up for failure. I would advise you to think long and hard and start keeping a mental checklist before you go off the deep end. This will wind up saving you face as well as your mental sanity.