Aunt Pat is the world's best Agony aunt. She is here to listen and to respond to you when your friends are not there. So, why don't you put your relationship in her care. email her: firstname.lastname@example.org
MY GIRLFRIEND HAS A PROFILE ON A DATING WEBSITE
I recently found out that my girlfriend has got a profile on a dating website. When i asked her about it, she said she's just there to socialise and nothing more. I told her that I feel uncomfortable with her listed on there but she put up a fight that i don't trust her. What should I do?
PAT: Normally I would say give her the benefit of doubt but in this case the question i will ask her is "Why a dating site" There are so many other social network sites like facebook or myspace that she can find "friends". Her going to a dating site to find a "friend" goes to suggest that she is looking for more than friendship. Sounds to me Like she is Fishing. Her saying that you don't trust her is her crafty way of shifting blame to you so she wont have to face up to the fact that shes been caught doing something shady.
SHOULD I ASK MY HUSBAND TO LEAVE?
I found out about 2 months ago that my husband of 10 years has been having an affair with my best friend who lives just down our road. The affair has been going on for about 2 years and I only found out when I read an email from her to him. Apparently, she got pregnant and he told her she would have to have an abortion as it was not part of the plan for her to get pregnant. I was shocked and devastated. I have been trying to deal with the situation at home but everytime i see him, he disgusts me. i wish situations were different between us. What can I do?
PAT: I really feel for you. You must be so angry with him and yet you seem to want to repair your relationship. You have expressed both so openly and bravely. There is a risk in asking your husband to leave, but there could also be a reward. Asking him to leave may push him to the other woman permanently and that means you will lose him totally. From what you have said, He does not seem to want any strings tied to the relationship they have and that is why he suggested she gets rid of the pregnancy. On the other hand, if you ask him to leave for a while, maybe that will give him the wake up call he needs and let him realise that his actions may make him lose something very precious to him. Only you can weigh those options. But i must also add that the first person you need to send out of your life permanently is that friend of yours. I wish you luck.
I FANCY MY GIRLFRIEND'S MUM
I know this is a very stupid thing to say but i have noticed that i really fancy my girlfriend's mum and i think she likes me too. My girlfriend lives with her mum and everytime i go round to their house and see her mum, something inside me fancies her real bad. What can i do?
PAT: If you really fancy your girlfriend's mum maybe you should not be with your girlfriend. My advice would be to stay well away from both of them because cheating on your girlfriend is bad enough but if the cheating is with her mum then that is a worse case. However, It is obvious that you don,t love this girlfriend of yours because if you do, you will not even see her mum.
I'm addicted to my bra
Since I have been wearing a bra so many years ago, I can't sleep without one on and the only time i take them off is when i'm changing or having a wash. Right now it is begining to affect my relationship because whenever I'm with my man after lovemaking, I have to wear my bra straight back before we go to bed.
PAT: Just like all other addictions, this is one that you will have to break especially as it is now affecting your relationship. First and foremost, you have to search yourself to find out the reason why you feel you need to wear a bra all the time. Although there is nothing medically unsafe about wearing your bra all the time but sensibly, i would say that those two little angels too need a break from the tying and strapping. I will suggest that you see a councellor. I wish you luck and i hope you can get over the addiction.