I would say we continue from where we left off the last time. I am thus going to cut all the niceties and cut to the chase. The core of the matter. You wanted to know my view on sex, size and what a woman wants.
Control: Grown women are in control of their sexual urges and can ignore the body’s natural, raging yearnings for passion (or a penis)…70-100% of the time. Ironically, this is where the true mark of a woman’s will power kicks in.A woman’s sexual peak is from their mid 30’s thereon. Hormones definitely play a major factor. On the other, hand so does career, growing teenagers and the general recognition of good and real friends as indispensable.
I love Janet Jackson as a phenomenal artist and one of the sexiest women alive. She however got it all twisted in her song ‘control’ that she jammed in her late teens. In her 40’s now and settled down with Jermaine Dupree, she seems now to be in true control.
Sex is not a need. On the contrary, a woman in her grown years desires a man’s companionship and emotional caress. The sex or making-love flows at the recognition of those qualities.
When Sex becomes a desire, (note I never said needed), it is at the woman’s will. This applies to married and single grown women alike. Please forgive me as I attempt to speak for both, not just from my experience, as the respected responses of twenty women, whom I surveyed, are in surmise.
Married grown women do not want to have sex with a husband just for the heck of it. Gone are the days of the wayward man stumbling home in the wee hours of the morning drunk and having the nerve to demand sex from his enduring wife. In all honesty, most of my grown married poll, perceived this question as ridiculous as well as inconceivable when I posed it to them. Glad to know that marriage is honorable, in the true sense. Married grown women also know how to keep their man happy in bed; how they say…keep it sizzling underneath the sheets.
Single women will tell you what they want. They have more liberty to keep their bodies sanctified. I talk solely from my standpoint as a grown woman of the Christian faith in this instance. I carefully pick my words. I also would not want to expose another’s confidence or confessions to me. It is however; no secret that the one of the greatest sins man struggles with are sins of the flesh, Carnal sins. Therefore, in the event that I am only human and fall short of the glory of God…It had better be worth my while and the time I spend on my knees praying before God’s throne of grace!
Communication: stemming from the aforementioned point, (for some reason I can’t stop writing like I’m sitting for my criminal law finals) a grown woman will tell you unequivocally what she wants, likes, will do, will not venture as well as if she will like to do it again. Forgive me women as I reveal one little secret of ours that seems to baffle our male friends. Guys, if you communicated well enough it would come as no surprise to you when the woman you had sex with just a few days ago, sees you the next time and actslike she knows you casually or looks right through you.
The first reaction just means it was a booty call whilst the second reaction most likely means you did not handle your business, did not listen to the things she liked or you tuned her nipples like you were searching for the new Classic FM station.
Toy boy, younger man syndrome: Grown women in their late thirties to mid forties may date a man a few years younger than them or even a few good years younger than them. I ain’t buying you diddlysquat! (Except we’re in a steady relationship and I’m showing affection normally-gifts at birthdays, something you need…etc).
Have you all seen the thirty-year-old millionaire club that is growing out there? Pu-lll-eeeese. This has never applied to me, as such a looser will not be so dumb as to missmy ‘twin towers’ and Angelina in tow or at least heard or them…..Shuuuu.
These players are deemed as gigolos and they need to take that tired game to the fifty something and above, grown women whom may fancy some so called ‘young blood’ and may just be willful of paying for it
On that sour note, I would like you to massage someone’s soul with true love this week. I definitely intend to.
We recently caught up with our Dear Omasan and Had a little chat with her. Here is a a little Extract from our Chat.
My Girl Next Door
Who is Omasan Buwa.
Max, Toks, Iyonibe. Actually, I am different things to many people. I say I am, simply me. What you see is what you get. I also never dated Femi Kuti Or Adewale Ayuba, as our Junk mags back in the day screamed in their head-lines. I am definitely not slung out on cocaine like some kid on a Nigerian blog twittered. Honestly, I have never set eyes on that illegal mood-enhancing drug. I guess folks still see me as easy -target, for whatever reason. All I implore then is to consider the fact that my children come across these things...and that is where I draw the line.
Let us put it like…describe you in three words.
Three words cannot describe me, my life and living it…but if you insist, I would say highly energetic, conscientious, and humble.
Name one thing that energizes you.
I will mention a few. People, they interest me. Different experiences. I learn from watching folks wade through the pavements of their checkered lives. That, by the Way is an all time favorite of Pastor Chris Okotie from back in the day. Music, it is no secret that I love music. I have a collection of over 1000 CD’s…my kids say they are old fashioned that why do I waste money when they can burn. I tell them that I collect CD’s. Back in the day, I had a rather impressive record collection .
School and education. I like school, learning about new stuff. luckily I have no problem with attaining good grades. i like the environment of a collective set of people thirsty for knowledge.
Do you have any pet peeves?
Having to repeat my self to my children and people not using the words ‘please’ or ‘thank you’. Bad hygiene and boring sex also irritate me.
In the bedroom all the time, missionary position, twice a week at night…all those are basic boring. Bad hygiene is plain rude and might include stuff such as bad breath and an unnecessary accumulation of pubic hair....for what purpose. Trim to fade-level, at least.
In your opinion, does size matter?
Size.? ( wide and enchanting smile) you mean size as in a mans thingy yea? hell yes! Size and technique, or should i say emotional depth. The problem is that most men do not take the time to explore a woman’s body language and her response. Many men focus on penetration and have no clue about foreplay. Selfish, self gratifying lovers..if you can even call them that. That is such a turn off. Fondling the female nipples like your attempting to locate your favorite FM station is Juvenile.
So how does a man satisfy a woman, if size is not enough and the sexual prowess is mediocre?
Hold up, I thought this interview was about me - not my take on sex. Do I look like Dr. Phill to you?Guess what though, let us set a date for next week and I will give you the secrets to a female orgasm (giggles). Hint – good sex starts with a caring smile and not just a throbbing erect penis.
I Cringe every time someone Introduces me in a social or professional setting. I cringe because i know whats coming next
..."don't u know her! Omasan Buwa, ex Miss Nigeria.".The response often goes thus.."aha! I was looking at that face, it looks familiar,but you have changed,your slimmer/fatter,you blah blah blah." I cringe because several things tire me in this scenario,which unfortunately,seems like I'm going to encounter for the rest of my beutiful life. It was the 'Most beautiful Girl In Nigeria', and not the now defunct 'Miss Nigeria'. Silverbird, Ben Bruce, MBGIN...these should bookmark the particular pageant and at least ring a bell. Yes! there is a difference in both pageants! let's begin with their different franchise names for one. Forgive me, I'm supposed to be the beauty queen dim-wit bimbo here.
Secondly my name is not 'omosonbuwa', 'Omasabuwa', 'omosa' or 'omasa'. It is 'Omasan' followed by last name 'Buwa'. I sure have pronounced it in proper form In all my beauty-queen public functions, and as a presenter on numerous Television shows.
Third point in case. the pageant was over a decade ago.My predecessor Linda has since been a notable politician in the house as an 'honorable', Bianca has ridden the waves of ignorant slander and become a publisher,wife and mother,Regina is presently in medical school,works and is also a wife and mother to her children, Sabina just had a set of twins in addition to two older ones and juggles strums the strings of a budding artiste and wife to her old time sweet-heart. As for Omasan, she is also a mother to three teenagers,has a Law degree and has accomplished a lot of success amongst risky-behavior Juvenilles,whom,by the way are mostly British Or American but refer to her as Miss O-M-A-S-A-N,albeit with a cockney accent or drawl. I recently started a cause to mentor Niger-Delta youths and in my biography as the creator,I minimised the beauty-queen aspect to it's barest form. The research and operations department,headed by a psychologist said he completely understood.
Finally, do not for one second Imagine that I do not hear the snide remarks you make about me being 'Ugly' just as soon as I turn my back. It's Ok, because I am the one who goes down in history as winning a beauty contest and being crowned a beauty Queen;Not and never you except a pageant for matured women comes up and you have the liver and confidence to compete. I would!
And that's another thing, I am Omasan Buwa; I am also Max.smart, talented,spiritual, often non-conforming, mother, loyal friend,professional, writer,human and prone to error and so much more than simply .................... "Ex Miss Nigeria."
It is important that you realise that the contents of this article do not mean that I hate being an ex Queen or that I do not appreciate those that love me as a queen and as Omasan. I do love you and cherish many meaningful relationships that I have nurtured over the years. I am reiterating though, that we can spend valuable time focused on bringing Nigeria into her God-given beauty and rebranded...for instance. ...and what's my beauty or ugliness got to do with that?
Till next time, remember that Only God speaks righteousness and only he is Just to save.
Scroll Down to the end of the page to leave me a message
My dear mother refers to Okada as 'demon's on wheels'. poor fella's,these guy's are only trying to visualize there next meal. Maruwa at least protects you, all 3 or 4 of u I feel like i'm in India,wanna take a ride...seems cool. generator is the standby,no wonder the price of Diesel is so high. The heat no get part 2, i'm so black ,fried, shuuu about to die.
The silver phantom perched at Ikoyi cemetery Another high-roller passed on,about to be buried. Designer purses and ankara saunter into the wake keeping U will keep awake at night, deciphering 'aristo' while others are needy. Rose Champagne is drunk like water, $80 a bottle Nigeria no get money?. tell that to the Okada drivers....holler!
This poem is dedicated to the ordinary man trying to make a naira and in recognition of the wide gap between the super rich and the extra-ordinary poor.
It was fun reminiscing on Face book just the other day, when a few friends, mostly’80’s kids, traded childhood, youthful memories. Kick back, relax and take a trip down memory lane as I share with you my ‘Back in the day’ moments that never fail to induce a smile, sometimes even a tear or two in memory of youthful exuberance.
I miss Allen Avenue. Remember Ikeja‘s answer to Rodeo Drive .The emergence of Alade market, designer boutiques and the overpriced innovation we nicknamed ‘designer Rice’. That era.
As young ladies who had branched out into the world, Allen Avenue Car dealerships and up-scale hair salons were where we all pulled up in our pathfinders, Honda Civics’ and Benz 190’s. I miss going out for Ice cream at Frankie’s or Yoghurt and Cheesecake at New-Yorkers in G.R.A Ikeja. I, of course miss Pepaholics and our live band nights as well as the ‘carpet baggers’ who held accounts with me and paid up in American dollars having consumed Pepaholics famous fresh fish pepper soup, peppered Snail or Yuppie Rice. Someone recently commented that in hindsight, Pepaholics was an idea before its time; that would make me the original Lounge owner. I like.
I miss the nightlife that continued from Allen Avenue all the way to Victoria Island. Ace/Ozone nightclub, Mama Cass, Nightshift, Jabita, Beachcomber, Fantasy nightclub, faze2, Boat club, Princes and of course, last but by no means the least, The African Shrine.
I miss the days when designers were creating and competing. The days when our catwalks had the likes of Charles, Ike, Ebele, Dayo, Funmi all decked out and sashaying originals masterpieces made by Labanella, Maufechi, Regalia, Vivid Imagination, Sophisticat, Dakova, Nikky Africana, to mention but a few very talented folks that made up our colorful and unique fashion Industry.
I miss ‘Morning ride’ and my segment with Dan Ladi Bako, when Lagos was still safe enough for me to zoom from Ikeja to NTA for a recording session at , unscathed by armed robbers. You must recall the first soap opera’ Ripples’, followed by ‘checkmate’! And what about veteran deejay’s like Jacob Akinyemi-Johnson(JAJ), Tokunbo Oyerinde(T-Oye), Ron Ekundayo and Sylvester Ofonaghoro who made magic on the air-waves. Those were the days.
Shinamania; the war between Shina Peters and King Sunny Ade, Barrister and Kollington. The introduction of Wasiu Ayinde, via Laparias, to a younger crowd. The emergence of Adewale Ayuba, ‘another Mr. Johnson.’
I sure miss the days when ‘born-again’ churches first made there saintly appearances and we became spiritual in our bid to rid ourselves of ‘marine’ husbands and children that most young, attractive and light-skinned females were diagnosed with. I even miss the weekly deliverance sessions whereby we were exorcised of demonic powers. Honestly, I am due for one. Everybody say Amen.
I miss attempting to place a telephone call at Nitel before the surge in phone centers. I recall the drama in these places as some other female is dialing the same number as you and speaking to the same player. All in a days game of growing up. Now we are talking into Blackberries and I-phones. How times have changed.
Share your memories and live today like there is no tomorrow. Thank God for the gift of life. Love yourself and one another. Later, people.
We have all heard the proverb of all adages….’No pain, no gain”. I dispel that myth and declare it false in all of its popularity. Ladies, gents here are a few ways whereby you may successfully loose weight long term, tone and build muscle tone. More importantly, they are mostly void of pain and loads of fun. No longer, feel guilt at not hitting your local gym or not feeling up to that ten-mile course brisk walk you had sworn to conquer come the next week.
Oldies: If, as a kid you grew up With Michael Jackson and dotted over Shalamar, Skyy or Earth Wind and Fire, Gwen Guthrie, Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis, Bobbi Brown, Tevin Campbell and Janet Jackson…. you catching my drift? These tunes not only touch your soul but also easily trim your waste. I dare you to loose control and reminisce on your wild and free days a bit. I have a dance area in my home; all mirrored up just like a dance studio. I love watching me still do a perfect butterfly, running man and the moonwalk. I am having a blast and at the same the same time, I am working my inner thighs, Quads and shoulders and getting my heart rate up in cardiovascular. Keep in mind our oldies but goodies have the beat go on for an average of 10 minutes per song. Instrumentals and all. The snake dance bites right into those love handles and your oblique abdominal muscles, especially if you can still do it all the way down like we did back then “.No romance without finance…u got to have a J.O.B if u wan’ to be with me…”
Dancing also boosts energy, burns calories and improves circulation. I discovered it as the best weapon against pre menstrual stress, in that dancing immediately improves mood swings because of the release of serotonin, which also serves as an outlet for creativity.
If you have teenagers, make them your personal trainers. Hip-Hop dancing for an hour will rid you of 540 calories. My kids wonder why I am so into Lil Wayne, Young Jeezy and Rick Ross dance moves more than ever. Psssst….don’t be intimidated. Their dance moves are just a slight re-rendition of our moves. Actually, break dancing is back in vogue and my daughter still cannot figure out how I can backslide and moonwalk much better than she can. (Like we had MP3’s and internet to distract us nailing those moves) Souuuuuul Traaaain.
Sex: The experts say that a healthy sex life is good for ones emotional health as well as for burning calories. (At Last! I capture the attention of my beloved male readers). My research on fitness web revealed to me some rather mind-blowing (pun intended) and interesting facts about ‘sexercise’ and exactly how many calories are burnt up in the heat of the moment.
Man-on-top or missionary – 20 calories, woman-on-top – 25 calories, Rear (or what Fela calls “na from back”) – 40.5 calories, urgent begging – 22 calories, screaming – 18 calories, shaking orgasm – 20 calories and a controlled orgasm – will burn a whopping 79 calories!
So who came up with the ridiculous notion that “sex makes the world go ‘round’”? Get it?I say have a shag and a smile alongside a slim, svelte waistline.
I love the gym; Gold’s gym, Crunch fitness, California Fitness, Lifestyle, Sobell or even your local YMCA. I have lived in them all at some point in battling my bulge. However, I have recently traded my treadmill for the trails, not to forget a welcome breath of fresh air! (That pun also intended). A well-constructed terrain or a natural trail actually challenges and refines ones balance ways that a treadmill or elliptical machine will not do. For some reason, an hour also flies by when I choose to hit the outside world. On the other hand, watching ESPN hockey or CNN on the gym plasma TV’s, during my cardio within the gym setting, makes 20 minutes seem like an eternity. Face it; it entails a whole lot more then a 300-calorie burn work out to penetrate and disseminate last nights late dinner of Eba and ogbono or that heap of rice and assorted meat-stew that served as a snack whilst watching late night TV.
I know its two months into the year 2009. A time when many shrug off their New Year resolutions ‘to keep fit and drop a few pounds’. I encourage you to remain in that optimistic spirit and continue to chant to yourself, “Its 09 and I will be fine.”
Predictably, as a gym regular, I have seen the new member’s numbers at my gym drop drastically. The inside joke goes “March is the month when new members march.” I tell folks all the time that the gym is not for everyone and for some people it can be a very intimidating and unfriendly place.
Might I urge you if you do fit this category of people, do not give up on a healthier you. Grab your oldies, kids, and partners and take a few walks.
Hey, you and I both as I also need to pick up on some slack.
firstname.lastname@example.org …Talk to me. More importantly, remember your daily conversation with God as the most beneficial of all exercise
I will briefly introduce myself as Maxine or Max…some though may recognize me as Omasan or even Toks…..Incidentally, in my usual manner, I really do not care what you call me as long as you do not call me weird, not normal or less of a woman. Simply because I have, the nerve to wear my hair in locks! (Not dread locks or Rasta by the way) but sister locks or interlocks as they are called here in the States as well as in the UK where my locks were proudly birthed.. Yes oh, they are different and it does matter as to how you classify my hair.
Shocked and somewhat saddened at a certain black brother’s obvious but painful ignorance, as he commented on a photograph of mine by saying , and I Quote ,
“Why can’t you wear your hair like other normal women…...?”
Thus my introductory article, which stands, up in all beauty and pride for those of us who dare to wear their hair natural, nappy, nice and yes, we sure got some nerves.
I assume this man was attempting to express that he favored women who wore their hair processed, relaxed, straightened, weave, glued, attached, pony tail, lace-weave…anything but my natural look. I have worn my hair in most forms I so far mentioned. at some point I had a personal friend in Mrs. Kim Of Flatbush Avenue beauty supplies, where I purchased at least 2 wigs a week; Looks ranging fromCurly-fro Whitneybeing my
Personal favorite by the way, to Asian-Bob Janet. I have no qualms with how a sister prefers to wear her precious curls. After all this is what makes us unique as black women.Our beauty, looks, fashion sense and styles, sex- appeal is as diverse as the different shades of black that we are gracefully covered in! Relaxed or Rasta.
Therefore, I see absolutely no justification in some stranger taking a rather narrow view in my expression of myself as how I choose to wear my hair, expecting me to be ‘like other women’.
All six feet of me is happy to be me and no one else. ‘You must not know bout me’.
Prior to growing my hair shoulder length locks, I was bald and showing of my grays…so now what?
Some of the most beautiful and talented women in the world wear there stresses natural-mode. To mention a few, Lauren Hill, Whoopee Goldberg, India Ayre, Rushomba, Jill Scott and not to forget my girls Seyi , Idia, Rosaline, Rita and Esther.
Contrary to popular and rather misled belief that natural hair is cheaper to maintain, I am happy to have recently found a fellow sister who will tighten up my locks for a meager $100 a month. I am seriously thanking God for that favor bestowed upon me . Now, is not the time to spend $200 on my hair monthly according to what the natural hair salons were asking of me and threatening to increase as my length in locks increased?
In London, the cheapest salon in Brixton was charging me no less than 60 GBP. My bold and beautiful sisters who don the skin cut look are shelling out an average $30 per fade at the barbers to maintain their cropped finish, on a weekly basis.Just like anything organic, natural hair products are also more expensive. Thus, daily conditioning is a pricey pleasure.
In my experience as well as many others who wear their hair natural, growth has been more rapid and there are less if not zero incidents of hair damage and loss some cases amounting to permanent alopecia. I came close to loosing my hairline to some rather nice but rather tightly braided micro-braids is all I will say further on the benefits of natural hair as a style of choice. The underlying theme here is about preference; the choice to go against a stereotype and wear my hair as I do…nappy and natural…not afraid to exhibit my beauty as a black woman. Similar to Samson, I draw strength in wearing my hair natural. It takes character and personality to go against the norm. I believe in this form of rebellion as ravishing beauty…and that is just me….
Therefore, when next your Alternative hairstyle might be misunderstood, boldly flash that brother a sexy smile and give him this famous line of Dr Michael Dyson ..
"You ain’t made love to nobody until you make love to a serious strong black woman."